When Compassion Could Have Saved a Life

Today, I had planned to write about metacognition - our ability to observe our thoughts - and why this inner skill is often more important than a high IQ. I will share those reflections in the next newsletter.

But today, my heart is heavy, and I feel compelled to write about something else. Something tragic. Something that may have been preventable.

An 18-year-old boy went to a club in Budapest, Hungary, to celebrate with his friends after being accepted into a university in Italy. According to his teacher, he was a straight-A student, a dedicated tennis player, and a young man who was well liked by both peers and teachers. Curious, engaged, and deeply immersed in his studies, he had a bright future ahead of him.

That Friday night, he left the club around 2 a.m. and never returned home.

The next day, the entire city began searching for him. People in Budapest united, hoping to bring him home safely. Witnesses later reported seeing a young man who appeared extremely distressed and paranoid. It is believed that someone may have put drugs into his drink without his knowledge. His phone and jacket were stolen. The temperatures were below freezing.

Several people saw him frantically searching for his phone, speaking to himself, and expressing thoughts of ending his life. Five days have passed. He has not been found. His keys were discovered on a bridge. A camera on a ship recorded a person falling into the Danube early Sunday morning. While not yet officially confirmed, it is believed this may have been him.

I am writing to you not only as a parent coach, but as a mother of a teenage boy - and as a deeply concerned human being.

How could this happen without someone helping him?

There were so many moments where a simple human response could have been life-saving. A helping hand. A phone call to the police. A call to his parents. Staying with him until help arrived. Instead, people walked past him. Some assumed he was a drug addict. No one knew they were passing a bright, capable young man whose life was unraveling in that moment.

This tragedy raises painful but important questions.

What can we, as parents, do to raise children who care?
Children who notice suffering.
Children who put their phones down and respond to another human being in distress.

It also makes us reflect on friendship.
Why did his friends let him go home alone?
Why didn’t they alert his parents?
Why didn’t they stay with him until he was safe?

So many people had a chance to help - and chose not to.

As parents, we carry a profound responsibility. Not only to raise successful children, but compassionate ones. To nurture empathy, responsibility, and care for others. To help our children choose friends who truly look out for one another - and to be that kind of friend themselves.

My hope for my own son is that he surrounds himself with friends who care deeply, who step in when something feels wrong, and who never leave someone alone in a moment of vulnerability. And that he, in turn, becomes someone others can rely on.

Dear parents, please talk to your children.
Talk to them about compassion.
About concern for the well-being of others.
About acting without personal gain.

This young man might still be alive if he had crossed paths with just one altruistic person.

And his parents would not be living in the darkest, most soul-crushing place imaginable.