Why Is Self-Esteem Important? And What Is It?
Self-esteem plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being, our relationships, and the way we navigate life’s challenges. It influences how we see ourselves, how we relate to others, and how resilient we are in difficult moments. But what is self-esteem really- and why is it so important, especially for children?
Healthy self-esteem means knowing that we are worthy of happiness simply because we exist. We don’t constantly seek validation from others, and we don’t need to achieve something extraordinary to feel valuable. We accept who we are and feel comfortable being ourselves. This inner sense of worth forms the foundation for confidence, emotional regulation, and resilience- both in children and in adults.
Are We Born With Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is, at its core, a value. But are we born with an intrinsic sense of self-worth?
I don’t have a definitive answer. What I do know comes from my experience as a parent. When my son was a baby, he was peaceful and joyful most of the time. He seemed deeply aligned with himself. He didn’t want to be someone else. He simply was - and that was enough.
As children grow, this natural self-connection can begin to fade. They start to pay attention to their environment, and gradually, the voices around them become their inner voice. Beliefs are formed, meanings are assigned, and children begin to identify with these beliefs. Over time, they may lose touch with their true being and their innate sense of self-worth.
How Parents Influence a Child’s Self-Esteem
A child’s self-esteem does not develop in isolation. It is shaped through relationships, daily interactions, and emotional experiences. The environment we create at home- and the quality of connection we offer - plays a decisive role in how children see themselves later in life.
This is why self-awareness in parents and caregivers is so important. When we become aware of our own thoughts, emotional patterns, and reactions, we begin to understand the impact of our behavior. How we speak to our children, how we respond to their emotions, and how we care for them all send powerful messages about their worth.
Children don’t learn self-esteem from lectures. They learn it through felt experiences - through being seen, accepted, and emotionally safe.
Why Healthy Self-Esteem Matters - for Children and Parents
Healthy self-esteem allows children to trust themselves, set boundaries, and face challenges with confidence. It supports emotional resilience, reduces anxiety, and helps children develop a stable sense of identity. For parents, cultivating self-esteem- both in themselves and in their children- creates more ease, connection, and trust within the family. Parenting becomes less about control and more about relationship.
Self-esteem grows in relationship. And it starts with us.
A Gentle Invitation
When we nurture our own self-awareness and inner stability, we don’t just support our children’s self-esteem- we model it. And that may be one of the most powerful gifts we can offer them.
If you would like support in strengthening your child’s self-esteem-or in reconnecting with your own- I invite you to explore my coaching work, books, and resources designed to support families on this journey. You don’t have to do this alone.